4 Ways to Keep Your Cool, No Matter What

We’ve all heard the saying, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” But what happens when life seems to have an endless supply of lemons? What happens when you are sick and tired of juicing the lemons? When you can’t even stand the thought of forcing down yet another glass of lemonade?!

Life won’t stop handing us lemons, and we can’t stop making the best of what life brings us. With that inescapable truth in mind, let’s look at four areas where we can stay particularly vigilant to ward off emotional exhaustion, and stay strong and resilient.

1. Be alert to ordinary, expected life events. None of us can escape these. They are the stuff life is made of: high school, trade school, and college graduations. Also, life events such as moving across the street or across the world, retiring, getting a promotion, making new friends, or trying to fit into a new neighborhood. Anticipate these events as best you can. If you do not have a plan to accept them in the normal course of living, any one of them could throw you for a loop.

2. Be alert to the probability of unexpected life events. These are the shocks and sorrows of life. The death of a spouse or child; the tragedy of an automobile accident; getting a call in the middle of the night informing you that your best friend has suffered a massive heart attach. These are the really tough times. To be strong is to prepare yourself for these sudden events by building a strong foundational faith and community of people you can lean on when times are really tough.

3. Be alert to ongoing events that can drive you crazy. These can be the everyday emotional killers—like the dog next door that yaps endlessly, the ongoing skirmishes with a spouse, the quarrels with our kids. Events such as these tend to have a cumulative effect; if we do not recognize them and deal with them as emotionally healthy persons, they won’t be easily resolved. As they weigh on us, we may feel as if we’ve been ground down to almost nothing. Yet to accept the unacceptable with courage and good humor is one of the ways you can regain control of your life.

4. Be alert to stress born of your own personality traits. I hate to break it to you, but much of your stress is actually related to how you are wired. If you’re a perfectionist, life is going to be stressful. In fact it may border on paralysis, with that feeling that you’re never quite up to par and continually comparing yourself to others. If you feel insecure, lack self-worth, and have an overwhelming sense that people are out to get you, you will often allow stress to get the better of you. When, however, you learn to roll with the punches, laugh at our world, and not take yourself too seriously, then what are stressors to others will become little more than annoyances to you. Your best solution is to know yourself, be aware of your challenges, and let life be your wise teacher as you anticipate future events.

Gregory L. Jantz, PhD is the founder of The Center • A Place of HOPE and an internationally recognized best selling author of 28 books related to mental wellness and holistic recovery treatment.