How to Help Prepare Boys For Success in the School System

Our sons love to learn. They are seekers and searchers. The world is interesting to them. Numbers, rocks, trees, mountains, computers, games, thoughts, visions, life’s mysteries – anything and everything can fascinate them, including school.

But males and females truly do think and develop differently. So they need us to interact with them in ways that honor their inherent design. As you look to prepare your son for school, we must recognize that boys, because of their brain chemistry, learn differently than girls.

Here are 10 things you can do to prepare your son for success in the classroom:

1. Build a sense of originality. Encouraging originality is a big part of inculcating healthy development in our sons. Your son is hungry to learn what is original about him. His originality will include his unique heroic assets, and how he views himself and the world. Study your son and think about his special gifts and where he shines. Consider what steps you, and his teachers, can take to strengthen his imagination and critical-thinking skills.

2. Create active learning environments. Toss a ball with your son while you brainstorm about an assignment together. You can also encourage him to move around while he is working. Male brains go into a rest state when they are still. Activities help his brain stay out of the rest state and activate the right side of his brain, his spatial side, which is essential for his learning and performance.

3. Involve both parents in schoolwork. Adolescent boys, especially, can need more than one parent/adult to help with learning and focus. Make sure both parents are equally engaged. Are you both encouraging, tutoring, and extolling the importance of education? Do you both believe in your son’s abilities and reinforce him daily with supportive comments and encouragement? Tell your son that you believe in his abilities and that he is going to be successful. Take the time to talk through your mindset with your fellow parent and present a positive, uniform approach.

4. Send him into nature for a while before he settles in to do homework. Male learning is primed for natural life and experience. The male brain has developed toward roaming, wandering, activity and movement. In nature, your son may gain a number of insights about a writing assignment, or how the math problem can be solved.

5. Establish a reputation as a supportive, positive parent. Teachers work hard and do their best. If all we do is complain, we are not supporting teachers. It will make it easier for teachers and school administrators to hear our concerns, once we establish ourselves as a parent known for a positive approach.

6. Help your son reengage in homework. Teach your son how to develop a homework planner. For the first month or two, sit with him and help him fill it in. List in the planner every day assignments that are due and tests for which he needs to study. Guide him to check each task off his list when the work is complete.
7. Teach your son to manage his time. Insist on a ritualized schedule for doing homework. Generally this will not be right after school, because he has been sitting all day. His brain and hormones need some reenergizing, exercise and down time. Homework time should probably be after exercise, or perhaps after dinner. Create a consistent time and location for homework each day. Make it part of your son’s daily routine. Be available and engaged. Keep the environment quiet, honoring his need to focus.

8. Remove technology stimulation when it is time to study. Set clear rules about the inaccessibility of phones, iPads, iPods, or other technology devices so he can work undistracted. Additional elements of multi-tasking can be distracting and impede homework completion. You may also consider making the bedroom a technology-free zone, as it needs to be a place of rest.   

9. Prepare your home environment for learning. Create a structured, consistent environment. Make sure school materials – books, backpacks and homework – are placed in the same location each night before bed. This precludes frantic searching for an elusive school item in the morning. Prepare nutritious meals emphasizing fresh fruits and vegetables that avoid sugars to maintain consistent, nutrition-based energy. Ensure your son gets to bed at a consistent, reasonable time each night. 

10. Create optimism. Watching your son struggle at something can be difficult. Optimism allows you, as a parent, to find the positives in struggle and failure. Your son will experience both many times, and you have the job of cultivating an atmosphere where positives can be found in negatives. Setbacks can provide invaluable insight into the situation and the person. If setbacks or failures are seen as disasters, your son will lose hope when these invariably occur. You want your son to know and understand how to positively make use of the setbacks and failures in his life.

Dr. Gregory Jantz is the founder of The Center • A Place of HOPE in Edmonds, Washington, and is the co-author, along with brain science expert Michael Gurian, of Raising Boys By Design, What the Bible and Brain Science Reveal About what Your Son Needs To Thrive